A walk along the beach with Scott
Drakes Bay, Marin County, California
This morning, my thoughts drift to our walks along the beach, our time spent, most of the time in nature. I wonder about the fox we saw on the trail, she was so dainty, feminine and perfectly groomed. Scott and I would talk, so many times, with a smile on our faces, saying to each other knowingly, that she was dressed up and ready for a date. I remember so vividly and he did too, how the red fox stopped in front of us on the trail so we could get a good look at her to admire and compliment her beauty.
As I sit here, I wonder about our disconnection from our natural world. How the animals and plants, the earth, the sea, the desert, the mountains love us and try to speak with us. Instead, we turn to distraction and disconnection, preferring to shop and watch television. We look for answers in the black print of a newspaper, talking heads on a program, the balance of our bank account.
We will never find the answers in those places.
So many of us are intent to damage and kill the places where the answers come from, where the love is. Where our connection to the power of the Creator, God, the Universe is. We destroy the trees, and the birds, the coyote and the bear. We pollute the sea and the air that carries notes of music to our ears so desperately wanting to hear. We shut all communication down to the natural world turning to each other, most of us so broken, we can't possibly help.
Love is always here, waiting so patiently for us. The animals and plants speak to us and we turn our heads pretending and denying their knowledge. How can they know more than us, forgetting we are all one heart, one mind, one spirit eternally connected together.
Scott and I spent almost all of our waking and sleeping hour connected to nature. When he died, I shunned drugs, drinking, the television, asking for my family's advice, the news, advice columns and society's rules and influence.
I let the pain of Scott's death, my sorrow pour into the earth, and into the sky above. I let it carry me through the waters. I let the fire burn into my heart and spill out all over the world.
And the earth responded, the universe answered, and the universe beyond that, and on and on it answered. With love and healing. With Scott here beside me, the stars spoke, the animals came to me and trees talked, their leaves fluttering in the wind.
We are here. We have never left you. We are connected now, and forever.