On Tuesday evening, by my side, in our forest home, my best friend, my soul mate, my protector, my guide and teacher, my equal, my everything, died from a sudden heart attack.
I met Scott when I was 52 years old and I knew he was the love of my life, the first day I met him. I had been searching for him my entire life. I was so grateful and excited I had found him, never imagining I would meet up with him in this life at so late an age.
The day before he died, he told me he was going to live until 105 so we could have the next fifty years together. I told him I thought I could go until my 90's.
We didn't know we only had one more day.
Scott taught me so much about life, and love. And what the important things were and made sure to remind me of them, everyday, through out the day.
I miss him. I want him back. I want to be with him. The grief I am going through is so intense, I didn't know there was any such thing as this kind of pain. I don't know how I am going to complete this journey on my own. I know Scott is with me. And I will move forward one moment at a time like he taught me.
I know my writing will help me get through this, it is the thread that I will follow to keep me going.
For now, I ride the waves of sorrow that come crashing in, one upon another. I wrote about needing to be cracked open. I am committed to having my heart and soul cracked open so I can love as deep as Scott loved everyone and everything he met on his journey through this life.