Tomales Bay, California
Scott and I spent a few days here at the beach and in the park
while we camped in Olema over the summer
I used to clam dig with my family here when I was a kid
In The Radiant Lives of Animals by Linda Hogan, she writes "Our boundaries are not solid, we are permeable, there-fore, even as solitary dreamers we are still rooted in the greater soul outside of us. If we are open enough, strong enough, to connect with the surrounding world, we are capable of becoming something greater than what we are merely within our own selves."
As I sit here writing this morning, I feel the connection to Scott, this mountain, the trees that wave at me as I look into the forest from my kitchen window, the brown eyes of the fawn, the rumble of the two black bears who have not let me see them yet, the grouse who spent every day with us before Scott left, the coyotes that howled in the back when we first arrived, the bird that hops below making kissing sounds, the grey fox who leave "presents" on the trail, and the two ravens who fly in circles outside my living room window when I play Scott's music.
I have always felt a connection to animals, the plants, nature. Now. Even more so. It grows deeper. I feel a connection and a communication. A powerful bond that is greater than I've ever felt before.
When I leave here, this mountain, sometime in the coming months (the monastery denied my application), it will be a place of service and a place where I will remain connected to Scott and what we call the outer world. Which I am learning on a deep level is an inner world we all share with outer appearances.
Scott is the coyote. I am the bear. We are the ravens. We live in each other and in ourselves as we are one, all connected. The more I embody this, the more profound and deeper the connection I have to life and the Soul we think is separate that is the Greater Soul.
The Greater Soul webbing each of us together.
When I feel this on a deep level, the love, healing and understanding ripples through my body in a powerful vibration allowing me to see and feel things I have never felt before. It doesn't happen all of the time, my mind has a precise way of shutting things down.
Surrendering and letting go is the key to open the door.
I don't know where my life is headed and it doesn't matter. I do know I am taking what I learned on this mountain with me. I am taking my connection with Scott with me. I am taking my connection with the plants, the animals, the mountain, the air, the water, the fire with me. I am taking my connection with the Greater Soul with me.
On my journey, I will not walk alone.