Wetland Area near the town of
Dungeness, Washington, road trip with Scott
Yesterday, was the first day I attended a Zoom. It was for my widow bereavement support group. I was surprised at the amount of people my age and younger. Some widows only in their late twenties and thirties with small children.
When I asked about coping with nightfall, I am having trouble feeling down and not being able to sleep, one of the suggestions beside watching Netflix was to use an app called CALM. I uploaded from Google Play last night. It is an app to help you sleep. There are hundreds of bedtime stories read in soothing voices, nature sounds, meditations, and music to enhance sleep.
Last night, I listened to a story about Atlantis, the mythical island. I fell asleep within fifteen minutes. The story read by an older man was filled with colorful imagery and animals. I actually tried to stay awake to listen to it.
If you have trouble sleeping, I recommend the CALM app at https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.calm.android. You can go with the free or the paid version. It's worth it for me to go with the paid version because it opens up more stories and sounds.
The other morning, it was kind of funny, I woke up telling Scott "I am going to make the decision, I'm the one stuck here". In my dream, I can't remember what we were discussing.
When I met Scott, he said, we are going to discuss options and paths to take for our life together over and over until we come to the best decision. I looked at him like "you gotta be kidding". I was single most of my life, not having to share decision making. I operated on impulse and reaction a good part of it.
Scott was right, we did end up discussing things over and over until I wanted to scream sometimes.
Seems like we are still doing it, even in my dreams.
I am still learning patience and compromise. I'm getting better and better at it.