Avila Beach area
San Luis Obispo, California
We loved this area, we camped at a Hot Springs for several days nearby
We dreamed of staying at one of the nicer hotels with an ocean view and inviting my parents to stay at a room next door to us
The area was so retro, my mom spent many summers here when she was a teenager in the early sixties
Scott and my Dad shared a love of music, they could talk for hours and they did
I pictured me and my mom walking to the touristy area to get coffees in the morning
All of us, enjoying each other's company for a few days
Scott and I always allowed ourselves space to dream and we loved sharing our dreams all day, everyday
This morning. I check my emails. I have a few applications out there for volunteer opportunities in Mexico and Hawaii. A few days ago, The Monastery, that I had a strong feeling I would get, sent me a curt reply offering a two word condolence on Scott's passing and informing me they didn't have room. It kind of surprised me, the short reply and because it was a Buddhist Monastery overlooking one of Scott's favorite places in Sonoma County, nestled in a deep redwood forest overlooking Bodega Bay. I thought for sure, I was meant to go there and be of service while being close to a place Scott loved.
In last night's emails, the place in Mexico I applied for wants to interview me right away to start in January. In the last few days, my initial reaction of running away from the mountain and landing with my backpack in a strange area to start my life of service has subsided. I am having enough of a challenge right now, going to the grocery store. I need more time. I wrote back Mexico to let them know I need to push off until Spring, "let's touch base in March", I responded. Hawaii wrote back too, an Animal Rescue Sanctuary on the Big Island. They have grown and expanded since taking in more displaced animals from the volcano eruption. We are writing back and forth, nothing firmly set in place yet.
I have a strong feeling, I need to wait out COVID, get my vaccine, spend more time on the mountain and with family, before I leave.
I am going to leave the mountain by Spring. It's just not time to go yet.