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Thursday, December 24, 2020

One Step at a Time

Christmas Eve 2020
Tomales Bay
Marin County, Northern California

This morning, I woke up with tears in my eyes. Scott was with me in my dreams. In bed, by myself, I had a cup of coffee, missing him so much. I loved our talks, sharing our dreams, our feelings, what the day would bring, especially sweet were the talks in the wee morning hours before the sunrise. 

Later in the day,  I did have a good road trip. We went to Tomales, a small seaside community north of San Francisco. Along the bay, we picked up clams and mussels at Hog Island Oyster Company for Christmas Eve Dinner. There will also be a pasta with a cream sauce tossed with zest from the Meyer Lemons I picked up yesterday from my trip out to Sonoma. 

The bay was blanketed in birds, among them, coots, red-headed ducks, and plovers. Deer napped nestled in still golden grasses perched on a nook overlooking the calm sea. Black and Red Angus cattle grazed up the steep jigsaw carved hillsides twisting and turning along the California coastline. 

I thought to myself, how much, I wanted a nice camera. I haven't thought of a camera in years relying on my cheap $50 cellphone to take photos for the blog. Something sparked inside me, that maybe, sometime in the future it would be a good idea to have a nice camera with a zoom lens. My photos from the cell barely capture what I am seeing right now.  

During the drive through Marin, there was barely a moment, I didn't think of Scott. The moments I did think about him were such sweet memories of all the picnics and exploring we did through this area, the campsite we stayed at in the town of Olema, close to Pt Reyes National Seashore, and all the beaches we visited. I could feel him with me.

Arriving at Point Reyes Station Post Office,  I mailed off the book "Wintering" to one of my readers. It felt so good to give.

Later, today I am participating in a Zoom group from the UK, they will be singing Christmas Carols and telling stories. This evening, there will be a small family gathering here at home with seafood, pasta and wine.

I am sure it will be a roller coaster of emotions for me and I accept this as being part of my life now. It is the price I am willing to pay for loving so deeply someone so special, he will never be replaced in my heart.

Merry Christmas to all of you. Merry Christmas Honey. 

May Joy, Peace, and the Deepest Love fill all of your hearts this Holiday Day Season and Beyond.

xoxo,

J



 

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