Walking the beach with Scott
San Francisco Bay Area, California
"In truth, I'm not my body, my race, religion, or other beliefs, and neither is anyone else. The real self is infinite and much more powerful-a complete and whole entity that isn't broken or damaged in any way. The infinite me already contains all the resources I need to navigate through life, because I'm One with Universal energy. In fact, I am Universal energy."
These past few weeks have been incredibly painful for me after Scott's death. And incredibly beautiful. After Scott, died, the day after. I felt a love from him that was so expansive, so pure, so infinite. I recognized Scott as his pure essence, without the human baggage we carry. He was himself as pure love. It is hard for me to put in words.
It was the most profound miracle I have ever felt in my life. I lost all fear of death. I finally completely understood the truth of who we are.
Grief is very human. I am a spiritual being having a human experience. Even though, I know the truth, that Scott is whole and infinite. I am also experiencing the sadness, and loss, and the suffering I feel during this time.
This journey is and has been the most important of my life. I am dedicating myself to it wholly and completely.
There is a mystery here.
It unfolds at its own time.
I bow humbly to its power.
I don't know where it is taking me. I am surrendering to whatever it has in store for me. I know that it is a path of love, a deepening, an awakening, I have never experienced before. I am fully trusting of letting go and allowing myself to become one with it, what Anita Moorjani calls "Universal Energy".
I know I am never separated from Scott, even though it feels like that sometimes, just as I know that I am never separate from Love another word for God and the Universal Energy that connects all of us, people, animals, trees, nature, this Earth, this Universe, the one beyond it and so on and so on.
In this I put all of my faith and trust in the journey ahead of me.