We loved to bird watch. We were not formal about it. No meticulous record keeping of species of bird spotted or notes on behaviors listed. Scott and I just loved to spend day after day, hours upon hours, watching the birds. We watched birds at the beach, in the mountains, on the coastal plains. In the backyard.
Up here on the mountain, I've only left the house a handful of times since Scott died.
The animals that want to see me and who want to give me a message come to the windows. They wait for me to see them, they stay for awhile, looking into my eyes, they make sure they impart their message before they leave by flight or foot.
Two birds visited me today.
This morning. It was a Meadow Lark. My sister called me to the window to see her. Her chest and lower body was a sunset orange. A tattoo of dotted lines along the side of her head seemed to grow longer as they reached her wings. She reminded me of sunrise and sunset painted on a wild bird. She stared at both of us for a long while. We admired her beauty until she flew off.
I said to my sister "I need to look up the spiritual meaning of a Meadow Lark." My sister answered back "How do you know, she's a spiritual animal?"
"Meadow Larks don't fly and land close to a window, staying long enough to stare into our eyes like that. She's like the baby fawn under our window the other day. they stay long, giving their full attention to us, they gaze deep into our eyes seeing our souls to impart the message. Their presence is different, more unusual, they want to communicate."
Searching for the message, I found it, in my spiritual meanings books.
Meadow Larks convey the message that sorrow will leave.
In Shakespeare's Sonnet 29, "the lark at break of day arising/From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven's gate".
When my family left around lunch time, I took a bath, and cried until I couldn't cry anymore. After my bath, I gathered my books, my pen, my paper, my laptop, and my cell phone, planting myself on the couch to look out my window.
Later, I washed dishes at the sink. Outside, my kitchen window, a stellar jay caught my eye. He looked at me for a long while. I looked back at him. He didn't flinch. He stayed with me until I finished soaping the dishes. I rinsed them, and placed them on the dish towel to dry. After we looked at each other again, he flew off.
Searching again in my books, I found this.
Stellar Jays bring messages of hope and the will to live.