Wednesday, January 6, 2021

Crossroads

The Island of Anacortes
with Scott
Washington, USA

This morning, I find myself at a Crossroads.

My life, by myself, is for me to create now. Just me.

Part of me wants to stay here in Sonoma County, hibernate, write, read, maybe find a cottage, an apartment, an almost full-time job, and adopt a dog or maybe a cat for company, to have the wonderful experience of sharing my life again, with a companion animal.

The other part of me wants to fulfill Scott's dream, our dream of traveling the world. In this vision, I would not be staying one place for longer than a few days, a few weeks, a few months, maybe a year. In this vision, I would not have a companion animal. I would have many animals, the wild animals that meet me along my path, the companion animals I would be introduced to that I would get to know and have a friendship with. 

Right now, for the next couple of months until restrictions are eased and COVID hopefully is controlled, I am hibernating. I feel like a bear. I love bears. In my next life, I wouldn't mind being a bear as long as humans are not around. In my mind, bears eat the best food. Salmon, honey, berries. Sleep a lot. Swim. And they are ferocious if need be. I'm not very ferocious right now, no energy for it.  I am sleeping more than usual. I am hibernating in a cave (a room), reading, writing, eating good food, taking slow lumbering walks, and sitting with life. 

In Spring, I imagine my life will begin anew. I will come out of my hibernation and choices will be presented before me. I hope I am courageous enough to pick travel and not comfort. 

Right now, there is no need to worry about it. I can bury myself under a pile of comforters, listen to the rain outside my window, read my stack of books, write, meditate, and take my walks. 

For now, I rest, walk, write, and wait for the answer.

 

4 comments:

David M. Gascoigne, said...

I do not find the daily restrictions imposed by COVID especially difficult, but I miss travelling a lot.

Janet Hamilton said...

Yes, I feel the same David, I can still take my walks and hikes which is mainly what I love to do and read of course! Like you, I do miss the freedom of traveling.

Susan Sawatzky said...

You may come here any time. I have a bedroom that is empty and you would be as alone as you want to be. Only me and my dog. I lead a very quiet life.

Susan in Port Townsend

Janet Hamilton said...

Susan, I would love to come for a visit and meet you and your dog when COVID restrictions are eased and my travel plans are open. Port Townsend is such a lovely place. Thank you:)