Last night, during my sound bath meditation, I was restless, my heart was offbeat, I couldn't relax and I was uncomfortable. I will spare you the details of my dreams last night, suffice to say, they were not pleasant.
This morning, a shift happened during last night's dark moon. Upon awakening, the sun brought forth a blue sky chasing away the early morning rain clouds. I was surprised to find my mind and body was clear.
My initial disappointment in a problematic sound bath, not being able to enjoy deepening and relaxing like I had experienced a couple of weeks ago in the same type of meditation was not a failure. I could feel the meditation did actually work clearing clogged emotional and mental fears and trauma, my spirits were lifted.
When Scott and I created our life together, we visioned and researched what we wanted to manifest and create in three month blocks. This was Scott's method of keeping focused and on track. I tended to be reactionary and impulsive in making decisions which balanced out his more methodical approach. Between the two of us, we created quite an adventurous life.
Now, I feel like I have integrated the best of both of us as I initiate the next steps towards a new future
Today, I applied for part-time jobs in the hospitality/tourist industry in my hometown. I am anxious to use my skills, meet new people, and work at the outdoor venues starting to open as COVID restrictions ease. I am planning activities, hikes, and coffee and tea outings with family and friends outing by outing as I feel more comfortable being around people after losing Scott.
I am stretching my wings, breathing and moving back into life.