When Scott transitioned, I remembered I had a direct connection with my Angels, Guides, Infinite Love and my spot of the Universe. The night Scott left, they showed up when I fell to the floor in gut wrenching grief and picked me up. I felt their love through and around me. I will never doubt that love again.
Before Scott left, I kind of ignored my Guides and Angels except when I saw something spectacular like an incredible jaw dropping, falling to my knees sunset like the one Scott and I experienced in Mendocino last year. I remember thanking them over and over saying "this is why we are here, this is why we are here". The same reaction and thanks I gave when I saw Humpback Whales swim under our boat in Maui for the first time.
And the same reaction when Scott and I had front seats to incredible bursts of thunder and lightening last summer. It was the most fantastic light and sound show I've ever seen put on by the universe! It was so much fun snuggled up to Scott camping in our van during the lightening strikes. I felt like a kid seeing fireworks for the first time. Until I found out later the record breaking 14,000 lightening strikes last August started at least 900 destructive fires up and down the West Coast killing people and animals, destroying thousands of homes.
That's Earth, the planet I live on. It's a dangerous ride through dazzling beauty.
After Scott transitioned, I started asking questions. One day, I asked about Atheists. I could never understand their lack of a spiritual life, their turning away from God or an all knowing Spiritual Presence. I don't think I could live without that kind of feeling or knowing.
The response I received was a new understanding. "Atheists want to immerse themselves in the Earth, focusing all of their senses on the physical without being distracted by God or a Spiritual Life". The answer was matter of fact, non-judgmental. I had an incredible ah ha moment and a clear message that Atheists were not going to be walloped by Jesus or God when they left here, just maybe surprised and overjoyed at returning.
I get it. I love the material and physical of Earth too. In fact, I see myself collecting material things like a pack rat again. I've lived out of a large green backpack for months. Now, that I am semi-settled, a bookshelf is filling with new books, Scott's altar is now our altar and I've added crystals, candles, and stones, and I have two big 5 subject notebooks to scribble in along with new pens and highlighters. Not much in comparison to most, but I see, I am grounding myself with the material again.
I am finding comfort in Earth, her nature, new friends, my collecting of stones and seashells, my healing crystals, and lighting candles while connecting with Scott, my Guides and Angels in what Scott communicated is not "my journey". It's "our journey".
Our Journey. All of us. Connected. Learning. Expanding in love and understanding.